Posts by Aunt Fancy

127

I'm sitting here listening to a JW try to recruit somebody

by Terry in

jw
friends

i'm at starbucks .

just outside in the courtyard.. i'm trembling.

my hands are shaking.. wow!.

Aunt Fancy

It is amazing how we can go along and think we have it together and nothing will bother us when it comes to the JW's and then all of the sudden it hits us hard. I don't think I could have handled it half as well as you did. I would have lost it because they are so blind and won't even consider another persons point of view or the facts. They can out and out lie to you because they think it is theocratic warfare!

I am glad you were at least able to defend yourself when they attack those who leave. I wonder what the non JW thought about all of this.

14

So how are elders going to be appointed again from now on?

by toto555 in

so have we got any additional clarification since the initial announcement on this?

the change is almost 1 month away and we still don't know how this is going to work exactly?

so what's the deal?

Aunt Fancy

I agree with Steve. I know the last congregation we were in there were more than 30 men who were regular at the meetings but they were never even appointed as MS. I may be wrong but I think most do not want the responsibilities or they have been a servant before and know what it is all about. I know my husband was an elder for years and he did not want anything to do with it. They begged him to be one again and he would slack off on his hours so they wouldn't appoint him.

They will come up with some dumb plan to make it look like it is from Jehovah!

43

Did You Ever Get Screwed By A Jehovah's Witness?

by minimus in

jw
friends

witnesses are supposed to be the "most honest people in the world".

most jws i know of do not put business deals in writing.

they simply "trust their brother".

Aunt Fancy

It took me years to finally stop because I had them asking me for my clothes!! It felt good to give them to a charity instead. I have thought about it a lot and JW's think you owe them something.

43

Did You Ever Get Screwed By A Jehovah's Witness?

by minimus in

jw
friends

witnesses are supposed to be the "most honest people in the world".

most jws i know of do not put business deals in writing.

they simply "trust their brother".

Aunt Fancy

We sure did and most of them were elders! We own a business and we got it on both sides, employees and customers. Our policy is we refer work out to others when they ask and we don't normally hire them either although we have a couple working with us now but one is a relative. We learned from our past mistakes. This is another thing I noticed, I have given them lots of clothes, appliances, household goods, food and other nice items and not once did I ever receive a thank you note and many times never a verbal thank you. I finally got sick of it and started taking things to charities instead. I could understand if I gave them junk but none of it was. It also use to bother me when you gave wedding gifts, shower gifts, graduation and get well gifts you very rarely receive a thank you. What is with that? I was raised to always send thank you notes which I still do to this day, even if someone buys me lunch I send a thank you note. (sorry I got a little off topic but to me they are closely related).

62

Roll call of those of us stuck in for our spouse or whos spouse is still in!

by BU2B in

jw
friends

i just wanted to get a feel for how many here have awakened to ttatt but are still carrying on some jw activities to pacify them and keep the peace.

also trying to hear from those who have left, but whose spouse has stayed in the wt and in the marriage.. for me it comes down to my own mental anguish.

i am mentally tortured by attending the meetings, yet i feel compelled to because my wife would kill me with her personality if i had her drag 2 small girls by herself there.

Aunt Fancy

I agree with 3rdgen. I am now 58 (30 years in) and hubby is 60 (58 years in), two years ago I started to read some books and it opened my eyes. I was so angy when I found out and I could not keep it to myself. It never even dawn on me that I shouldn't tell my husband what I found out. I felt he had the right to know. He gave me the canned answers at first and that made me angry so I came back at him and he agreed to read COC. It changed his life. Yes, I did the direct approach but it worked!! You never know until you try doing something.

My husband is very thankful I helped open his eyes. Yes, it has been an up and down roller coaster but we are so much happier and healthier as a result. Do not waste precious time. Many of you are very young and you can go to college and do some things with your life that you can't if you stay in. Your spouses may be thankful that you get both them and your children out. I am very thankful that we happen to be one of the ones who has done well financially but so many have such dead end jobs with little to offer you both financially with little rewards.

Read Steve Hassen's books so you know how to approach your spouses or look at others who have been able to get their families out and use their approach.

Here are two example of JW brothers that left and were in 30 year marriages with two of my closest friends. Both couples had two boys each and they were both elders for years. The men woke up and stopped going to meetings and they both told their boys they no longer had to go to meetings if they didn't want to. At the time neither of the men knew (TTAT) but they knew they didn't want to be part of it any longer. Their boys are know free of the WTS and the sad part is that both marriages did break up but not because they left the WTS.

Your children will have so much more respect for you if you do the right thing and stop the madness of the cult and their lies. My parents were never JW's and I can look at my parents with so much love and respect because they were good honest people that never lied to me and they did everything in their power to give me a great childhood. Sad to say, I was 1700 miles away from them when I was love bombed into the religion which broke their hearts but they made sure they never lost me during those 30 years. They cried many tears because I was in and were so happy and relieved when I called them 2 years ago and said we are free.

Here is another part of my story, we have a grown son that never came in. Our relationship was very strained with him because of the religion but when we got out we called him and told him how sorry we were that we put him through it. He was so loving and told us he understood and our relationship has grown so much since we left. My daughter in law told me the other day how different we are and we are so much fun to be with.
They love when we come to visit and you can see the change in them when they are with us. Our grandkids and their friends call us the "Cool Grandparents" which I love.

Life can be so good after leaving the WTS. Don't be afraid to take that leap and do the right thing for you and your family. You could end up like I did with terrible health problems and thinking about ways to end it all. I am so thankful I didn't take that route but found out the real truth instead.

Hang in there all of you.

36

Fading, Stopping Meetings, DA or DF'ing, Thoughts on Getting the Hell Out Of There

by OnTheWayOut in

so i read some threads about why someone remains a ministerial servant or elder, or why they are still active jw's.

others are telling stories about how they cut back slowly, and some of them got removed as ms/elder/pioneer or whatever.

yet others tell of how they just up and stopped going one day.

Aunt Fancy

In July 2012 my husband (he was an elder for years and stepped down a number of years before we left) and I walked out early during the Friday session of the DC and I never went back but my husband went to one more meeting and he was done. After reading a few books and getting him to read COC we just walked away and never went back. It never even entered my mine that my husband would not listen or our marriage would break up over this. I have always been very vocal and I usually tell it like it is with him so for us it worked.

We get them coming by about twice a year when the CO visits and the first year for the Memorial but we never answer the door. The elders have called us a couple of times to get us to come back but we don't answer the phone either Or return their calls.

My family was never in so for me it has been great except I lost "friends" and my husbands family still talks to him so we have not gone through what many of you have.

This is what I struggle with, I still have some anger even though for the most part I have moved on but I feel I may need to write a DA letter so that the rest of me can heal. Even though I could care less if the DF me I don't want to feel like someone is checking up on me and I still feel like there is something holding me back. We are going to put up Christmas decorations outside this year so I am pretty sure they may come after us at that point because my husband was very well know in this area from being on many KH committees. My husband doesn't care if they DF him either but he has been helping friends and relatives learn about the lies so he won't do anything just yet.

16

Do GB members poop?

by Magnum in

do gb members poop?.

the question arises because of the great similarities i see between jw land and n korea.

for one thing, the information flow is the same in the two realms; its one way from the top down.

Aunt Fancy

LOL Blondie!! Where do they get this crazy stuff?!? Before I woke up I read about 5 books on North Korea along with books on the FLDS, Mormons, Amish and Scientology and it is one of the things that made me realize how much the JW's were like All of them.

35

I love my life, I don't want to die

by losingit in

hello everyone..... i've been thinking a lot lately, when i have a chance to be alone my mind immediately comes to the topic at hand-- i don't want to die.

what would happen to my precious little girls?

but i'm so scared that it's going to happen.

Aunt Fancy

I am sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time. Please open up to your therapist because they can be very helpful and if you don't then they won't be as effective as they can be. They hear a lot of things and don't worry about what they think of you because they are there to help and not judge.

I would make sure the courts garnish your ex husbands wages, if he is holding down a job you can get your fair share for your girls. It is very sad when a father walks out of his children's life because he is angry with the mother. He is not hurting you but he is hurting his children.

Since you are worrying about your children right now, make sure you have a will with who will be the guardians of your children. Knowing you have that in writing will ease your stress over it. Most likely your hormones along with what you are going through is causing the extra anxiety.

If you still believe there is a creator then why not continue to pray? If that will bring you comfort then find a way to continue to talk to your god.

Try to do some relaxing things to release your stress so your girls don't feel it.

There is nothing wrong with going back to your family in a time of need, it does not mean you are a failure.

(((Hugs)))

65

Seriously considering stepping down as Elder

by fader77 in

i have been an elder for 6 years.

it's been the last 2 years or so that i've really seen the hypocrisy, but the ability to know the shenanigans of the society through the body of elders letters has kind of kept me in there.

i'm to the point now that i can't stand the hatred and bitterness that the body of elders has towards myself and my whole family.

Aunt Fancy

I agree with Sarah, you both deserve to have a loving relationship and if you will never love her what is the point in staying with her. Have you considered marriage therapy to see if you can work through that? Many couples are able to change their relationships with the help of a professional. You may not be allowing your relationship to grow because you can't let go of someone that is not yours to have.

13

Old WT Publications I have

by William Penwell in

i have a number of older wt publications.

due to downsizing, i would like to get rid of them.

if some of are of value and have not being scanned, i could scan them for all to share.

Aunt Fancy

You might check and see if they are worth anything on E-Bay. I sold a nice set of The Studies of The Scriptures for $800.00.